Influence is a key skill needed by all leaders to drive change and get results.  As I coach leaders, I very often advise them to focus more on others than on their own agenda.  

In the May issue of Harvard Business Review, Rob Goffee and Garreth Jones provide a simple diagnostic tool to assess the presence of six common imperatives for the best workplace on earth.  Among these imperatives is: "Discover and Magnify My Strengths," by generating value for ourselves by adding value to others.

The art of influence is determining what is important to a fellow leader and then creatively proposing a service or solution that can lend value.  This is more often accomplished through a dialogue where you, as leader, are asking lots of questions, before you go in to your passionate monologue about what you can offer. For example, as I coach leaders who are often in "support departments" like human resources or finance, I am often impressed by their passion for what they do, their technical expertise, and their belief in the positive difference they can make.  Their habit is to approach an operational leader with "their agenda" in mind.  

Claudio was an HR leader who wanted a unit-based manager (Mary) to be more intentional about using employee engagement scores to improve turnover in her area.  Instead of approaching Mary with his "case," Claudio  asked Mary:  "what is taking more time than you'd like in dealing with your employees?"  "What difference would it make if you could spend less time doing that activity?"  "Where would you like to be putting that saved time?"  "How would you feel if you could invest more time in that area?"  "Would it be worth 30 minutes a day to be able to do that?"  Would you be open to a suggestion to consider?"  

Claudio is actually asking perfect coaching questions to engage that leader in getting a result that matters to the HR department.  He is doing it, however, by focusing on the leader and what matters to her, than "HR's agenda."  

I encourage you to play with this and see what happens!  Let me know by commenting here!

 

At the ripe young age of 54, I just bought a family wagon!  Normally, when I think of family wagons, I think of car seats for infants and toddlers; hauling children back and forth from athletic events; taking the dog for a ride; packing bags of groceries to feed the gang at home; and driving our adolescents and their friends to the mall or some other social gathering.

But, my husband and I don't have a dog... we have two cats who don't particularly like to ride in the car; we don't have children and the groceries we buy, for the most part, are just for the two of us.  So, why the family wagon?  Thankfully, we have aging mothers!

Now we pack walkers (rollators) that allow our moms to sit when they get tired, and keep them balanced when they walk.  We may buy them groceries, but they're limited due to the meals they get at their continuing care community.  We haul them to various events... alas, most of them seem to be doctor's appointments. We crank up the volume on the radio but it's not so they can sing along and groove to the beat... it's so they can HEAR any beats!

The music we play is not of our time.... it's of THEIR time... We don't talk about the news of today; we reminisce about days gone by and speak more of emotion than facts.  Head matters less..... heart matters most. We exchange "I love you's" at every encounter and offer hugs as if they may be our last one, because they could be.  

I have the privilege of watching my husband demonstrate patience (most of the time...), advocacy, and compassion for our moms and I fall in love with him all over again.  Both Robin and I are learning to be less judgmental and more accepting; to exercise our sense of humor and the art of forgiveness.  We are parents at a mature age and thank God every day that we can give back to our moms who have given us so much!  On this day of Independence, we are thankful for our freedoms and for those who are dependent on us.  God Bless........