Simon Beck is a snow artist.  He creates works of art and beauty that can be erased in a matter of seconds with the next snow or windstorm.  He spends hours creating these works of art.  He doesn't use any technology. It is only him, the snow, his footprints and his amazing vision.

I found out about Simon through my sister-in-law's posting on Facebook.  While part of my new year's commitment is to be less intimate with my smartphone, tablet, computer........  you get the picture....., there are some uses that serve my spirit.  I knew when I read about Simon, that I would write about him and his work.  In doing so, I'm imagining that part of his purpose has been fulfilled:  to inspire others to what is possible through dedication, inspiration, purpose, and vision.

To look at Simon's trails above, you start to wonder what he sees that we don't.  What is it that drives his painstaking footsteps in the snow?  One misstep, one off- balance footprint could destroy hours of work.  Virgin snow is just that:  once tampered with, the system is changed; the design is altered.  There's no going back.  Yet as I look at Simon taking each step with purpose and passion, I know he's not thinking of what may ruin his design.  His only thought is on creation.  He is focused on his goal and he is pursuing it with relentless abandon.  His companions are only his snowshoes, ski poles, goggles, and stamina.  He is driven by his passion to create beauty, and to share that beauty through photography.

As a coach, we tend to seek metaphors in our work with clients and in our lives.  So, what I choose to see is someone honoring his passion and 
purpose: Someone whose inspiring goal transcends the "work" it takes to fulfill it.  I see someone who moves into his purpose and passion, with full presence, realizing that it can all change in a heartbeat.

My prayer and commitment for 2014 is that my clients' experience of our work together can be just that:  fully present, focused, with vision, passion and purpose.  As leaders, that we can put one foot in front of the other, moving constantly closer to our goal: that we have the energy and commitment to withstand the inevitable challenges, and continue onward.

People often ask me about my career path and my purpose.  What I always say is that my purpose began with positively impacting a hospitalized patient and that purpose has not changed.  I don't practice as a "nurse," as we may rigidly define that role; and I do hope to inspire physician, nursing and healthcare leaders to be the best they can be in service to patients and families.  Each person reading this blog will be somehow impacted by our healthcare system.  Lives will be saved or lost.  The quality of our lives will be improved, maintained or disintegrated by the care we receive.  That care has to provide quality, respect, hope and peace.  

Perhaps we in healthcare should start calling ourselves "Health Artists!"

My heartfelt thanks to Simon for his inspiration, and wishes to all for a "health-filled" 2014!

For a Christmas 2013 video of Simon, click here.

I am an Iron Girl!

August 19th was a cool, partly sunny day in Columbia, MD and close to 2,000 women and their guests showed up at 5:15am to get ready to participate in the Iron Girl Triathlon.  Our bodies were marked with our race number and our age (yes... no hiding from public scrutiny, or the pressure of possibly seeing those older than us surpassing us in the race!).  Team Fight, supporting the Ulman Cancer Fund, hosted a dedication circle where 100 women held hands at sunrise and declared for whom they were racing.  I had the privilege of announcing my race in honor of my husband, and my two fellow Iron Girl buddies.  I will admit to having tears in my eyes when my husband ceased his "official photographer" duties, and came behind me to put his hand on my shoulder.  If you've read my prior postings, you know that a life threatening brain disorder could have easily prevented him from being with me for the race.

The National Anthem was played and then it was time for the swim to commence!  Three weeks ago, I totally panicked during a dry run at this same lake so I was "a bit" nervous going into the swim, yet felt that I had prepared as much as I could to be successful.  I had my ritual planned which was to "bob in the water" six times (dunk my head and practice breathing) before taking off.  As I did that, my goggles leaked and I feverishly adjusted them as my friend swam off to commence her race.  I re-centered, bobbed again (no leakage) and took off!  Me, and 156 other 50-55 year old women, with the next age group six minutes behind me.  To make a long story short, I spent much more time than during the dry run, using the freestyle than backstroke, and managed to complete the swim in 45 minutes, 25 minutes better than previously!  I went on to complete the 17.5 mile bike ride and 3.4 mile run, and realized my vision of running straight into the arms of my waiting husband.

Amidst the congratulations from friends, I've also been greeted with: "What's next?"  Isn't our culture amazing?  Are we always looking forward to the next "thing" or can we be content, for just a few moments, with staying in the present and savoring what is?  As I rest my pleasantly tired body, and reflect on the journey, I am so grateful to be part of several communities:  the community of "Iron Girls;" the community of Team Fight;" and the community of women who summoned the courage, passion, purpose, discipline, and fortitude to say: "I can do this," and achieved their goal.  We put in the time; we endured the pain and discomfort; we asked for help; we embraced the loving support of our friends and family; we admitted to being "beginners" and learned whatever was needed in technique to endure with minimal injury; we set a vision and we achieved it. 

Many, including myself, initially looked at other triathletes and said: "Not me.... I could never do that!"  How many times in life do we say the same thing and prematurely relinquish our dreams in service to our fears?  What are you denying yourself because of self-limiting beliefs?  What's the first step you'd have to take to move toward your goal and what's it worth to you?  I'd love to hear from you!

Above you will find a picture of Vicki Hess completing the Iron Girl in 2010.  I took that picture as I watched her complete one of her, soon to be four Iron Girl races.  Vicki is an ovarian cancer survivor and a great friend who inspires me every day with her positive attitude and energy.  It's safe to say that Vicki's been challenging me to join her since 2010, if not before.  Mind you, completing a triathlon has never been something I've longed to do, despite having completed some long distance bike rides (metric century) in the past.  Another good friend of ours, Dana Slater caved to Vicki's challenges last year and completed her first Iron Girl in 2011.  So now, both Vicki and Dana were ganging up on me!

As I wrestled around New Year's eve with signing on the dotted line to commit to doing the race, I was thinking about how it may serve me in the coming year of 2012.  My only way to get in to the already sold out race was to join Team Fight, which I was proud to do given the desire to support young adults and their families dealing with life threatening illness.  While not cancer, my husband and I had been struggling with a life threatening neurovascular illness for close to two years and at that New Years eve, it seemed like we were not winning the battle.  My husband has a dural arteriovenous fistula (DAVF) in his brain; a rare disorder which puts him at risk of stroke or death.  His was large and complex and he has had countless neurosurgeries to block off some of the abnormal vessels in his brain.  Unfortunately, until this fistula is totally obliterated, it recruits other vessels, so it can feel, and did feel like we were living in a science-fiction novel and were losing the battle against the aliens.

I'll get back to New Year's eve in a moment.  In March of this year,  we were told that the doctors could not do anything else for what may be two years and it was now a waiting game.  We knew that Robin was still at risk for stroke or worse since he still had backflow drainage into the brain and the radiation he had takes years to work.  We were also told that if Robin started to develop symptoms again (he previously suffered with periodic dizzy spells) that we should go to an emergency room. 

If you know anything about neurosurgeons, you perhaps know that humility is not amongst their strengths.  Their work requires painstaking detail and expertise... one wrong move and someone's life can be dramatically altered.  As I struggled with accepting what these experts were saying, yet not wanting to accept a diagnosis that would bring disability and death to the most significant person in my life, I started researching the web for another possible answer.  I found that possibility in articles that had been written about skull based surgery, and the Barrow Neurological Institute in Phoenix, Arizona.  Dr. Robert Spetzler has his name on one of the grading scales used for Dural AV Fistulas, and for $100, he would examine records and images and let you know if he thought he could help.  That seemed a no brainer to me (pun intended.....), so I mailed records out, and received a call shortly thereafter saying Dr. Spetzler believed that surgery could help, if not cure my husband.  Hearing this felt like finding an oasis after wandering for days in a blistering, dry desert.  And, that news was punctuated by the fact that Robin started to have dizzy spells again, which meant he had vessels close to rupturing.

All of this would have been enough, yet as fate would have it, my 80 year-old mother, who was living in a single family home in Boston, had a mild stroke, necessitating her being moved out of her home and into some sort of continuing care community.  So, to make a long story short, I drove up the end of April, packed her up and moved her from her home; drove her here to a temporary apartment in a continuing care community, got her as settled as I could for about 6 days before I said: "see you later-- I need to go to Arizona for Robin to have major brain surgery."

What was supposed to be a one day surgery and 3-4 day hospital stay, turned into a two week hospitalization and three week stay in Phoenix.  There were complications every step of the way, including blood loss requiring a staging of his craniotomy; six hours of endovascular work and radiation exposure (where they go in through an artery in the groin, thread their way all the way up to the brain, locate abnormal vessels, and insert a glue-like substance to block off the abnormal feeders, making sure that none of the glue leaks to block off normal vessels), a second craniotomy to seal off one of the major feeders, temporary psychosis and difficulty expressing himself, and the final assault which was his acquiring deep vein thromboses due to being immobile for so long.  I would spend 10-12 hours/ day by his side, leaving the hospital around 10p feeling like I was walking in a fog and was only moving by putting one foot in front of the other.  I had amazing support from family and friends, while I was out there and also knew that I had to force myself to exercise (swim or jog) for my mental health and to not lose the ground I had gained in my training for the race.

So, back to New Year's eve......   as I let the completed form stare at me from my computer screen for at least 24 hours before hitting the "send" button, something told me that I would need this race to serve as a positive goal for me; to help keep me fit and strong, and to help me experience and face my fears, realize my ability to overcome them and to be successful at something I previously thought was impossible.  I honestly believe that my ability to disagree with what some of the most arrogant of surgical providers said was "true," and to persist in finding my own truth, which has prolonged, if not saved my husband's life, has been, in part due to my training and participation in this race.  As I fantasize about the 19th and crossing the finish line, I imagine myself pausing just prior to entering the final gate and walking away.  I am sure that sounds crazy, for isn't it about that final announcement of "Joy, YOU are and Iron Girl!?"  And while I will probably choose to finish the race and go through the gate, that isn't what it's about for me.  It's more about the journey; it's about what it has taken to endure pain and discomfort, and persevere; it's about courage; it's about asking for help; it's about being cut down to the core and putting one foot in front of the other; it's about every young adult's fight with cancer and regardless of whether they win their race for life, or die, they are winners.... they are Iron Girls, because of their strength, their courage, their commitment to ALL life has to offer. It's been about companionship, faith, laughter, tears, and spirit. 

With just over one week to go, I am feeling strong and confident (despite my total panic at the open swim dress rehearsal.....).  My vision of seeing my husband standing at the finish line will come true.  And, as I set foot in the water, waiting for that whistle to blow at 7:04am to start my wave, I will smile with gratitude for the many blessings preparing for this race has afforded me. There will be light within the darkness of Centennial Lake; there will be friends by my feet as I push up Mt. Albert, and there will be wings of angels lifting me up as I run/ walk my way home to the finish line.

Those of you who live in the Baltimore/Washington Area know what kind of winter we had this year (2009-2010).  Well, one day in February, a sunny, somewhat warm day (relatively speaking), I decided to go for a hike to clear my head and help make some decisions re: career moves.

I went on a trail not too far from my home, one I had been on once in the past....  the trail was pretty wet and muddy, as you can imagine, and I needed to go off to the sides to avoid sinking and getting my shoes totally ruined.  I had hiked for about an hour, didn't have any epiphanies, so I decided to go along a bit further on this other trail, unfamiliar to me.  After hiking for approximately 2 hours, and getting a bit weary, I decided I wanted to return to my car..... only to find that I couldn't find the trail markers, heard the car noise so knew I was close to a road, but had no idea which way to go.....

Thanks to my Iphone (I should call Apple and give them this testimonial....), I used the compass and map to locate my car, and blazed my own trail to return to my car.... and that was the ONLY way I was able to find it!  I ended up hiking a mile and a half on the road to get to my car........

So much for clearing my head, I thought!  And, then I paused to reframe:  "hmmm, maybe sometimes the road isn't always clear, and there are obstacles in your way, but if your vision is clear, and you use guides along the way, eventually, you reach your destination!"

Changing my view helped provide a needed perspective for the adventure I was about to take!  How can changing your view....  support changes you'd like to make???

I went away recently to a beautiful timeshare resort in Hilton Head, SC.  To my amazement, there were not just one, but two, huge jacuzzi tubs in the villa!  I love to take jacuzzi baths, with the jets particularly focused on my lower back and shoulders.  And, I really love taking them in hotels where I don't have to clean the tub after I use it!  So, here I am, filling the tub, with excited anticipation for the experience I'm about to have.  Click on picture for larger view.

Here's the tub without water in it, in case you couldn't see clearly....  You'll notice the jet placements.  Well, again, I was just so excited that I jumped in the tub and planted myself smack in the middle of this luxurious bath.  Soft music was playing, it was going to be heavenly....  until, I really began to sweat (and I hate sweating), and I noticed that I wasn't really getting the spray on my lower back as I had hoped.  I began to think:  "what's wrong with this tub?"  Here I had all these high expectations of how I was going to luxuriate in the warmth, and vibrating comfort of the jets against my sore shoulders and back, and it wasn't working!!  Notice..........  "IT wasn't working........"