Blog Posts - Viewfinder Coaching & Consulting LLC

Viewfinder Coaching & Consulting LLC

Emotional Intelligence: Insights from “Inside Out” by Pixar

7/8/2015

Daniel Goleman, a thought leader on emotional intelligence, talks about our social brain and how we are wired to emotionally connect to those around us. Studies have proven that the power of our emotional connections to others has impact down to our immune system and t-cells! This provides new meaning to those of us who may think we have “toxic people” in our lives!

Who would think that Disney and Pixar would come out with one of the most thoughtful and inspiring productions focused on the value of emotions? Well, they have and Meg LeFauve has my deepest gratitude! It may be no wonder that I am choosing to comment on a movie whose lead character’s name is “Joy.” This movie is relevant for children and adults, and for professional and personal lives. Leaders: this has critical importance for you!

Very often, when my clients speak about emotions in the workplace, they refer to them as “drama.” Have you heard that comment? If we think of emotions as “drama,” what impact do we then have on how we encourage and respect the varying emotions around us? Isn’t it emotion that, literally, helps us take action (e-mote: to move)? Alexander Caillet, in his well-conceived “The Thinking Path,” outlines how our emotions impact our behavior and results. Whether we choose to admit it or not, emotions are all around us in the workplace and we would be better served if we noticed them within ourselves, as well as within others. It is well documented that the most effective leaders are those who have the highest emotional intelligence. It is the self-awareness, self-management, other awareness and management that helps us engage others (on a purely physical level) and motivate our teams to achieve our outcomes.

Insights I gleaned from Inside Out include:

Each emotion serves a function: joy, sadness, fear, anger, and disgust.
The many values of sadness include the opportunity to receive help and to provide compassion and a safe listening place for others.
Opinions may “look like” facts but are not facts
If we find that we live in one emotion, we may realize that our choices and thoughts are limited to what that emotion can see. We need to wear other emotions to see different possibilities.
While “joy” can be a great motivator, too much can be dangerous.
Memory is fragile, yet an emotional connection can support memory retention since it resides in a larger part of the brain.

Tips, Tools & Reflections

In what ways are you allowing your full range of emotions to emerge?
What difference might it make if you did?
As a leader, how are you noticing and affirming the value of emotions in others?
What is the impact it is having on you and your organization’s success?

From Darkness to Light: Leadership Lessons from A Monastery

6/5/2015

My husband and I are now on a blissful vacation in Greece and had the privilege of visiting Meteora. I encourage you to Google Meteora Monasteries where you will find information about these inspiring monasteries that are perched atop phenomenal rock pinnacles. You wonder how they chose these remote and challenging locations and how it served their purpose.

We were able to tour two of the 14th century monasteries and marveled at them and their 1000 year-old murals. The murals graphically and stunningly depict iconic stories from Christianity. During the tour, our guide mentioned that the monks were, initially, only allowed into a dark chapel and had to earn their right to ascend into a room filled with more light. How did they gain entry, you may ask? We were told that It was through suffering and humility. Each day consisted of the same routine: prayer in service to God; work; and rest.

So how does this relate to leadership? My thoughts...

For many, the direction of healthcare today is uncertain and the changes are perceived as painful. In many ways, we are mourning the loss of familiar roles and systems. I wonder if humility and service to a larger purpose may help us transcend from darkness into light?
Those of us who chose to go into healthcare did so to be able to improve our patients' health and to help them have a comfortable death. May we remember that purpose when we are tempted to go to that dark place of victim mode.
Do you remember the song: "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden?" No one ever promised us that everything would stay the same. In actuality, the only certainties are change and death. What is happening in healthcare is not about us. -May we channel a monk's servant attitude to lead our way to better healthcare for all.
As we work tirelessly toward our purpose, may we remember to take time-out and rest. Our bodies and our minds need these breaks so that we may continue to do our work.

I look forward to hearing your discoveries!

Leadership Reflections on the Riots in Baltimore

5/8/2015

My sister, who lives in Massachusetts, was supposed to visit my mother and I this weekend. She canceled her visit due to anxiety around the violence that was occurring in my neighboring city of Baltimore: a very minor, yet one of many casualties from this weeks’ events. I will admit to being transfixed by live coverage on TV of what was happening within a thirty-minute ride from my home. My prevailing emotion was sadness for my city; my community; for those impacted near and far by this violence and disrespect. I was touched by the excerpt below written by a police officer:

“I stopped caring today because parents refuse to teach their kids right from wrong and blame us when they are caught breaking the law. I stopped caring today because parents tell their little kids to be good or “the police will take you away” embedding a fear from year-one. I stopped caring today as no one wants us around, but instantly demands answers, results, arrests, when a crime takes place. If a crime isn’t solved within the allocated 60 minutes it takes CSI on television, we are inept, incompetent, or covering something up. Yes, I stopped caring today. But tomorrow, I will put my uniform back on and I will care again.” Written by Lt Daniel Furseth, DeForest, Wisconsin Police Department

There are no lack of opinions around who is to blame for this complex situation, and I am reminded of the challenges so many face in organizations and systems, around accountability. As I work with leaders, it is a complaint often heard. What can we do to inspire sustainable change? Here are my thoughts on possibilities:

As evidenced by the intractable and sadly enduring history of ongoing discrimination, poverty, and violence, this is a complex problem and will not be solved easily. As Margaret Meade so wisely said, this will take a village.
If we seek to blame someone, then we must first look in the mirror. What are we doing to be part of the solution and not part of the problem? How are we judging without considering other’s perspectives? It’s all too easy to judge inner city kids, without walking in their shoes. I have had one small experience with being treated as if I were guilty, without any opportunity to comment. I felt the rage within me that could have, given the right circumstances, prompted me to violence. What we hate in others, if we have the courage to look, we find in ourselves.
Practice empathy and compassion. Take an “empathy walk” where your goal is only to understand another’s perspective. Be open to the story you hear, without judgment, having compassion for another’s plight. Engage them in problem-solving. It’s OK if you don't have an answer. As it is so often with leadership, true leadership is not about always having the answers - it's more often about asking the right questions.
Act! My prayer is that you act with your time and humanity, in addition to money you may choose to give. Your example is needed and speaks louder than monetary donation.
We would be remiss to think this is a Baltimore problem. This is our society’s problem. I commit to being part of the solution. I hope you will join me.

Focus: A Critical Leadership Competency

3/5/2015

In the December, 2013 issue of Harvard Business Review, Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence) wrote an article on the importance of focus in leadership effectiveness. It’s ironic that this seems to come at a time when there are more and more tools that inundate us and distract us, rather than help us focus. Nobel Prize winning economist Herbert Simon predicted this when he stated: “a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”

In addition to Goleman’s work, the burgeoning fields of neuroscience and positive psychology have also addressed focus. In the world of neuroscience, David Rock, in his book: "Your Brain at Work" talks about the role of the prefrontal cortex in managing new and complex information. Focus, particularly on new information, takes more energy. An example is often given of someone driving to work. As long as they take the same route over and over again, carrying on a conversation is possible since the brain knows this route and the pathways are deeply grooved. There was NO WAY I could multitask when I was driving in Italy! I’d have been hit by a scooter or never reached my destination if I did. Dealing with new information takes more energy and brain power. David Rock states that, if we think of the brain as a stage, we need to be cognizant of having too many actors on the stage and minimize these to effectively think.

Richard Boyatzis, a psychologist at Case Western Reserve, highlights the impact of focusing on problems instead of solutions. When the brain is threatened, as when we perceive problems, our focus narrows to concentrate all of our resources on survival. When the brain focuses on goals and dreams, (a positive focus) we gain a broader perspective. “We need the negative to survive, but the positive to thrive.”

So, what implications does this have for you? How can you intentionally shift a conversation from a problem orientation to a solution orientation? How can you shift your focus from what is wrong, to what is right: From what is not working to what is working? What will it take for you to turn off all notifications and for you to schedule time to think? What impact might it have if you did?

Lost Connection

2/1/2015

Have you ever roamed around the house with a Bluetooth headset in your ear and your cell phone in another room, when you hear, "Lost Connection?"

That happened to me this week and it triggered a thought - what would happen if our brains could signal that message when we "lose connection" in other areas of our lives, like our relationships, or our life purpose and our values?

We lose connection when we allow extraneous noise to consume us and take us off course. Noise can appear as emails that entice us with their "today only sales" and you end up following an internet path you never intended to take. It can happen when you feel like you need to respond to someone in a certain way to get that person’s approval. It can happen when we live our lives from fear instead of from vision and fulfilling purpose.

We lose connection in conversation when we allow judgment to influence our beliefs and behavior. We lose connection when we are so sure we are right that we listen only to validate our opinion, not to what matters to the person with whom we are speaking. We may find ourselves engaging in conversations that consist of complaints, worry, and blame, resulting in sadness and a strange sense of comfort around our shared misery.

Is that the connection that we seek?

Dr. Otto Scharmer, senior lecturer at MIT and co-author of Leading from the Emerging Future: From Ego-System to Eco-System, offers an alternative. In his U-Lab, he discusses four Fields of Conversation. These range from what he calls: downloading, or saying what we believe others want to hear (polite conversation); to debate, or speaking from what we know to be true (being right); to dialogue, or engaging in inquiry, being part of something bigger than ourselves; and to collective creativity, or what we can create together is more powerful than one of us can create alone.

A bit complicated, yes? Not so much. The next time you’re in conversation, focus more on the other person and seek to understand, with open mind, open heart (empathy), and open will (willingness to act). Create a judgment-free zone and marvel at what emerges from that place of safety.

Explore Discover Awaken Ask yourself this...

1/13/2015

While this may seem a little like an advertisement, that is not my intent at all. Rather, I’d like to share my excitement about how View Changer Cards are encouraging exploration and creating dialogues in a fresh and simple way.

I recently had the privilege of attending a party where my good friend used the cards to inspire conversation among the participants. I felt awe as I observed people of all ages as they responded to their card's question. I learned what really mattered to each person in a way that I would never have known unless we were life-long friends. This was NOT the usual lite-fare party conversation. It was poignant, human and...real.

That's when my purpose for the cards hit me. I intended these questions to provoke purposeful dialogue that deepens conversations and that honors and respects what is essential in each human being. And from feedback I have gratefully received, that seems to be happening.

But then I thought about an equally purposeful monologue. There's little point to asking others to explore unless we ask the same of ourselves. So I tried it out on myself. Given that I actually wrote the questions, I wasn't expecting a lot of surprises. But life provides them anyway, right? I closed my eyes, shuffled the deck and picked a card. It happened to be a photo of my husband, Robin, holding our kitten, Hunk. The question was familiar, of course, but I thought about it with the photo in mind. Then I put the photo on the top of the deck and left it on my desk for the week to remind me that a question can have more than one answer.

So how about picking a card. Any card. Look at the photo, turn it over, read the question, then take a couple of deep abdominal breaths. Maybe this is an easy question - maybe not. How many times will you Explore the question the following week? What will you Discover? Will you Awaken something beautiful in yourself?

Whether you use the View-Changer Cards or some other vehicle in this New Year, I pray that you will join me in the exploring new dialogues, discovering new possibilities and awakeningpotential in yourself and those around you.

Questions and Answers

1/9/2015

"The quality of a leader cannot be judged by the answers they give but, by the questions they ask." Simon Sinek

Walk Beside Me

9/2/2014

I had the honor of volunteering recently at the Columbia, Maryland Iron Girl Triathlon. The Columbia Iron Girl is one of the most popular sprint triathlon races in the country as it is all women and offers a reasonable challenge for a first-time triathlete. The race consists of a 0.62 mile swim in Centennial Lake; a 16 mile, hilly bike ride, and a 3.4 mile hilly run around the lake. For the past two years, I’ve competed in this race, but this year, decided to do a different race and volunteer at this one.

There were over 1700 women of all shapes and sizes competing. The oldest was 74 years’ of age. That’s right… you heard me correctly: 74! There were many doing this for the first time; there were other’s doing it for their 9th time: the number of times the race has been held; there were many doing the race in memory of loved ones who had lost their fight with cancer. The most touching for me was the person who was racing in honor of her father who died two days’ prior!

What makes this race special is that there is no cut off to each leg of the event. If it takes you over an hour to complete the swim, so be it. If you’re the last person in from the bike course and you walk the entire 3.4- mile run course, so be it. You will still hear: “Congratulations! YOU are an Iron Girl” as you cross the finish line.

After I served by encouraging each swimmer as they entered the lake, I went to the swim exit and I watched. I watched as friends and family stood cheering their athlete on to victory. I watched as kayaks supportively surrounded each final swimmer, who was obviously struggling to finish the swim. The kayakers were paddling gently by their side in case the athlete needed to rest, before continuing on. The kayaks couldn’t advance the swimmer but they could be resting posts, for the athlete to summon their energy for the next attempt.

Some swimmers were on their back; some were doing the breast- stroke; some were doing the crawl. Their time didn’t matter; their technique didn’t matter. What mattered was that they set a goal; summoned every ounce of courage to tackle their first open water swim; persevered; endured discomfort; and held on to their vision and commitment in support of whatever cause.

I will admit to tearing up as I watched the final swimmers exit the lake. By the sounds of those cheering and the high fives, you would have thought the swimmer was the first to emerge. There was one thing missing from that scene and that wasjudgment. There was no “good” or “bad:” No “right” or “wrong.” Only shared joy in the success of the athlete.

Celebrating Physician Leaders on Doctor's Day

3/30/2014

CELEBRATING PHYSICIAN LEADERS ON DOCTOR’S DAY

March 30, 2014

A story is told of a child (for the sake of ease, we’ll name this child “Johnny”) who, when asked by his fifth grade teacher about what he wanted to be when he grew up, the child responded “I want to be a doctor.” “Why is that” asked the teacher? “Because doctor’s help people feel better, and save lives,” responded Johnny. “Do you realize that doctors work long hours, sacrifice time with family, are on call 24 hours/ day, and deal with life and death issues?,” asked the teacher? To which, Johnny responded: “I know.”

Years go by and Johnny excels in sciences and math. As a matter of fact, he excels in most things that interest him. He finds himself playing lead roles in classes, clubs and sports teams. His friends tend to go to him when they have challenges as John seems particularly adept at problem solving. John is always seen reading books or magazines and loves to share his knowledge with others. Throughout school and college, John carries on his habits of determined and focused work and a willingness to take risks, as motivated by a fierce sense of curiosity and a desire to make a difference.

As he progresses through medical school and residencies, he encounters numerous challenges such as tough teachers, competitive students, sleep deprivation, “politics,” and pain caused by hard-learned lessons from mistakes and patient errors. His days are long; his body is oftentimes weary, yet he is propelled forward by patient and family accolades and appreciation for the miracles he seems to perform. There truly are no words that can adequately express gratitude for eliminating pain and extending quality of life. Perhaps more than anything else, we take our health for granted until it is taken away. Then we realize how dependent everything else is on how we feel.

John manages to find a woman who has enough patience and love for him that she is willing to tolerate his long hours, and middle-of-the night calls, and they wed. They have two children and move out of their meager apartment into a country home. Life is good, and they are able to take exciting vacations and participate in cultural events.

Then one day, John expresses unrest. There are pressures to see more and more patients, cutting down on the time he has to listen to them as much as he’d like. There are regulatory documents and new electronic systems to learn, which all seem to take him away from what he enjoys doing the most: caring for patients. He believes there has to be a better way and starts wondering how he might play a role in creating a better system for his peers and his patients. Unfortunately, it seems like, in order for him to truly make a difference, he must give up the clinical world and move in to the world of “the suits.” Of all the risks he’s taken in his life, which include surgeries that involve going through vessels, into the heart and brain, this seems even more formidable.

His work won’t impact one patient at a time; it will impact thousands! His influence will impact access to care; who gets care, where, and when; it will impact his friends and colleagues with whom he’s worked side-by-side; with whom he’s shared fields of battle that happen to be an emergency room, delivery room, ICU, or operating suite. His usual state of confidence, bordering on arrogance, is shaken. There are no well-defined protocols, formularies, or standards of practice. His opinion isn’t the only one that matters and he knows he’ll hear more complaints than he will compliments. Family life will continue to be impacted: he may not be in the operating room but he will be in board rooms and making rounds to be visible; he’ll be spending precious time that he could be spending working out and looking after his own health, in front of an electronic device responding to email.

In a rare quiet moment, during his sporadic efforts at meditating, John hears another voice asking him: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “What is the difference you want to make in.. and for this world?” John spends a few more moments with eyes shut, and then with a sense of clarity that has long been missing, makes his decision.

In appreciation and gratitude for what you do, and who you are,

The Science of Happiness

3/8/2014

Went to a great Georgetown Alumni Coaching Conference this week and one of the wonderful breakout sessions that all dealt with resilience, showed us this video by Soul Pancake. This gratitude practice is a simple, yet powerful way to increase your happiness by up to 22% and make a memorable difference to someone in your life. Watch and see.... and then tell me what you did!